It's Not Fair Enough

it's not fair enough. I almost fall in your smile. but you never give me your smile when we meet, and there are just me and you.
it's not fair enough. even I'm not as good as you or another girl around you, I almost fall in your eyes. I like everything about you. Your voice, your leadership. oh, come on, it'll not be a problem if you can see me as myself. if you can talk to me just like you talk with another girl.
it's not fair enough. you can chat with another girl, and know her life deeply. you listen another girl's problem, you shed her tears. but you never look at me.
sometimes, you make me almost tired to stay in "this way". you care with another girl, but i'm not "them". I almost want to be another girl.
I'm tired to feel alone, and for many times, always there is someone who mad at me when I almost have a near boyfriend. I never want to be someone's girl. I just need to be his friend. but, hufft... I...
aish. I don't know what I feel exactly, I just need you smile at me. start a conversation with me. I just feel a little nervous when I stand in front of you, and want to start a conversation. I'm just a little girl who never stand around the boy.
it's not fair enough. But, what should I do? I just need to accept this. and hope, and pray, that someone will come over me someday. someone who understand me, someone who knows that I only can't talk easily to him. someone who knows that I just nervous to talk, that can hold my hand, and don't blame me for what I meant to do..
someday,...
and, for that day, I just need to be patient, again, and again...
even sometimes it's been so hard to do,.